Dear Love,

There are seasons where we all need a little extra love, grace, and mercy. We’re human, so it is impossible for us to be our best selves all of the time. Some seasons, we may feel weak in the knees from the weight of the world, and the last thing we need is someone pointing out every fault that we may have at that time. There may be times we want to give one hundred percent but are only left with ten percent. Most of the time, the great things some may have seen us do came from Christ, who strengthens us, not from our own strength, because if it was up to us, we would’ve given up ten chapters ago.

The reality is, sometimes those seasons last for years, and I think we all just need to be met with a bit more love, grace, and mercy in those seasons.

In John 13:34–35, Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

God loved us first, so we love as He has loved. Love is a command, not a reward. Sometimes, the world can get so caught up in keeping score that we forget that we didn’t give God anything to love us, and He still showed us the ultimate display of love. There are seasons we didn’t even speak to God except at dinnertime, and He was still there, covering us and waiting for us to seek Him, waiting for us to have a relationship with Him.

We love because God loved us. We don’t deserve the love He gives us. We don’t earn it. He just shows up and cares for us, even in our mess.

We all need grace.

We won’t always be our best selves. We are going to make mistakes. We won’t always be able to show up for one another like we want to, but that doesn’t make us any less valuable than we were before.

We can’t zoom in on one off-season and forget the others. We can’t make people earn every bit of forgiveness, gentleness, or patience from us. God doesn’t expect that from us, so how can we expect that from one another?

Of course, we should discern what needs grace and what honestly just needs to go.

I understand because, honestly, most have just been tired too long, been hurt too many times, and genuinely don’t have another heartbreak in them because life, the world, and the economy have handed them more than they feel they can bear. But we have to discern what needs to go and what needs grace.

Everything isn’t a moment of turmoil, neglect, trauma, or toxicity. Some people genuinely are tired and at capacity, but they don’t truly know how to communicate it. I think that’s where some of us struggle the most. We either can’t find the words or the strength to even say anything. Does that make it right? No, but that doesn’t immediately make someone a villain either.

That just exposes a common problem that can be resolved with the right tools, in the right season—not while they’re hurting. That’s why, when someone has experienced a traumatic event or is going through a difficult season, sometimes it’s better to give them love and grace instead of scolding them.

In Ephesians 4:32, God said,

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

In this life, we are going to bruise one another. Sometimes, the one you love the most will accidentally hurt you or do something you don’t like. This is not to be confused with abuse; that isn’t the same thing. But maybe they forgot something, said something, or did something that wasn’t malicious but just made you upset. They apologized, but you’re still holding it in your heart. Instead of forgiving them sooner, your bond with them starts to drown. I understand some things are easier to forgive than others, but some things aren’t always as heavy as they may seem. We have to show each other a bit of grace sometimes.

Maybe you have one cousin who is always late.

Maybe they’re late because, genuinely, taking a shower or doing anything is a chore because they’re fighting depression and anxiety behind the scenes. You may see them as someone who doesn’t care because they weren’t on time for your birthday party, but they’re really someone who was just happy you still invited them—that you even love them enough to remember them. They’re really someone who loves you so much that, even if they didn’t feel like coming or even living, they came. It’s not always a sour attitude or heart. Sometimes, it’s just a few things they can’t talk about, and you just don’t realize how serious it is because you don’t witness it every day.

That’s why we have to respond with mercy.

Everything doesn’t need a harsh consequence.

Again, there are some people who do some unbelievably cruel things in this world, so I understand. But we have to discern those things, take every single thing to God, and ask Him for guidance on how to handle our circumstances.

In Matthew 6:14, God said,

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

I think we should choose compassion when someone isn’t their best self, when they fail, and when they make mistakes. Everything isn’t so monumental that it deserves a severe reprimand. Mercy should always be available. If God treated us as our sins deserve, some of us wouldn’t be here.

I know now that we are at the end of this letter, and you may be thinking, “Why am I going on and on about this?”

Life isn’t easy.

None of us are perfect.

I haven’t always been my best self in every season. Even when I’m giving everything—all that I’ve got—I still fall short of the glory of God daily, but I am also loved by God daily.

It is only because of God’s love, grace, and mercy that I can genuinely say I have made it this far. And although I’m young, I’ve seen my share of difficult seasons. As I look back over my life, I’m grateful God kept me and saved me.

There are seasons when we are at capacity and are simply just trying our best. There shouldn’t be an absence of love. There should be an increase in love, grace, mercy, community, and prayer.

I know it isn’t always easy, but neither was dying on a cross.

Sometimes, walking with God looks like doing the hard things, like letting down our pride, dying to our flesh and our ego, and simply saying, “I’m sorry,” or letting go of the version of a person you wish someone was in a season when they were drowning in pain.

I pray we all show one another more love, grace, and mercy. The world can be a dark place sometimes. We all need a soft place to land, even on our bad days.

All My Love,

Lisa Ford

P.S. Don’t Forget Your Prayers